We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
