The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize