he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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