If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
