I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
