People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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