check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
