hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
