My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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