It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
