just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
