my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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