it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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