just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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