Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
