I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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