Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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