This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
