there's paper in my vomit.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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