ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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