handjob tips. give me some.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
