I want to make a zoo with you.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
