just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
