I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
