do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
