You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my poor anus
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
