I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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