You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
