you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
