What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
