First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize