I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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