i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
whose parrot is this?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
