we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
