brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
