I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
