omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
