oh god the rape fog is back!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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