if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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