im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Welp...herpes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
