What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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