someone threw a dead crab at me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
