Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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