By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize