The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
