every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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