She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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