I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize