don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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