Buhtt sex?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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