saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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