I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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