if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
