To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the condom got lost in my hair
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
