I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
