she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
