Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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