Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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