I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
