you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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