I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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