you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
50% drunk capacity currently
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
