Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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