Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
