sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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